Red flag: "I'm not perfect"

2021.12.04 11:16 SportingGoodness Red flag: "I'm not perfect"

So in general, that sentence makes sense and just explains the obvious. But in certain contexts, it's a red flag.
Because who asked you to be perfect? Why are you suddenly talking about perfect? The context might simply be a question of accountability for trying ones best to do good. To be empathetic and understanding of others, to be kind, to try ones best. That has nothing to do with perfection. So why did the person suddenly respond with "I'm not perfect"?
I think there are multiple possible perspectives here, and some, several or all can apply at the same time:

  1. They are narcissistic, so they want to view themselves as perfect. Whenever somebody says any critical thing at all, even if it's so obviously warranted it's painful, that immediately reminds them that it's a protective lie.
  2. It's a straw man. A straw man is misrepresenting and exaggerating the other party's words to such an extreme that you can easily knock it down. You're creating a straw man as opposed to the real man. That's a manipulative tactic, and that way they can deflect all responsibility in whatever you say. They imply that you expected them to be perfect, which you didn't. You simply held them accountable for something.
  3. It's also a switching of goal posts kind of thing (although I hate the term as it's misused a lot, but it applies here). They can say that holding themselves accountable for that is being perfect, so they don't need to do it, since nobody's perfect. Then they don't need to do anything at all, since the goal post is so extreme anyway. But it isn't, they just redefined it.
  4. It's downplaying the importance of the thing they were called out for. For example if the original topic was something really abusive, by suddenly talking about perfection they're implying that this was just a tiny thing that anybody does. It's just happening. And everyone's doing it, it's not their fault. So that way, they now make it seem like not abusing people is being "perfect".
Those are the perspectives I can come up with in the moment. But I've heard it a couple of times recently, and it starts to dawn on me why I reacted in those particular moments. I also after a while noticed that that person never held themselves accountable for anything. And a couple of other red flags, and then I realized this was a core rationalization that kept on showing up.
Like a low level deflection being constantly held up. And then, of course, if you challenge it, the claws come out full force with even worse gaslighting, manipulation, deflection, dismissal and stonewalling.
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2021.12.04 11:16 MysteriousIdea What is the “Predictions Tournament” on the HolUp Subreddit?

It keeps appearing in my top feeds every morning but doesn’t look like a promoted ad? I can’t seem to figure out what it is or why it’s so popular.
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2021.12.04 11:16 Mr_Werman Haganle ver esto al cristianghost :)

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2021.12.04 11:16 Awesome_Mods Medal of Honor Allied Assault - Ultra Graphics Mods Part 2

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2021.12.04 11:16 FarbrorB Can't Access missions after patch

Hey guys , Playing Godfall on PC in europe, i was plaing a volatile 64 dreamstone before patch and now i can't access the pool or whatever its called in the middle of the base room. the screen just gets gray and the music continoues but nothings happening, i have tried to re-install but its the same so it must be something with the acc.
Anyone else got this issue?
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2021.12.04 11:16 The_Smoking_Owl Hinamatsu or hooded rider

Hey folks, thinking about playing pandora, really like the way the master seems to play. I have read alot about hiring models and now dont know which give me most utility. Stuck between hinamatsu or hooded rider. Which would you prefer? would like to add i would mainly play her in killy games.
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2021.12.04 11:16 rhys1203 30[M4R] let's empty these balls

Mainly looking for girls or trans but happy to wank for you boys if you help with your wife's and gfs x
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2021.12.04 11:16 JustADisappointment What your cat does after it loses its toy under the sofa

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2021.12.04 11:16 Guanajuato2 ISO: Interpreting Part Time Job

Hello! I am bilingual (English/Spanish) and looking for interpreting part-time in addition to my full time, 8am-4 pm M-F job. Does any one have a good suggestion for an agency that contracts out Interpreters? I do not have a medical interpreter license.
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2021.12.04 11:16 Sizzle384 ✌🏻

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2021.12.04 11:16 matlockga FYI: the "Van Gogh Exhibit" coming to Cincinnati sucks, and is not the one in Columbus or Indianapolis

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2021.12.04 11:16 piquechuuu this is my second attempt at the majesty palm. last one died super fast. tips on keeping it alive and thriving? ✨🪴

this is my second attempt at the majesty palm. last one died super fast. tips on keeping it alive and thriving? ✨🪴 submitted by piquechuuu to plants [link] [comments]


2021.12.04 11:16 Upcoming_person_ What Jojo would be for mini haters:

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2021.12.04 11:16 mrmoustachepanda Everybody complaining about the Saudis but let's not forget who the real enemy is.

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2021.12.04 11:16 DSporachd Series 3 Discussion Threads Rupository

For all you latecomers, new fans and re-watchers, here is every discussion thread for one of the best series of Drag Race!
Drag Race UK Series 3

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2021.12.04 11:16 Rufus0t0firefly A note from the Author( The Husband )

MAY 11, 2010
THE HUSBAND From the Author
Spring has arrived, and simultaneous with the first daffodils comes the writer with a web-site statement about his latest novel, a sight not as pretty as fresh flowers, not as pretty as frozen winter soil thawing into mud, but every bit as inevitable as the change of seasons. While bears have hibernated, while bees have huddled in a state of torpor in their hives, while vicious and evil extraterrestrial parasites have bided their time in the chest cavities of unsuspecting human hosts, the writer has been toiling away on a book. He has not lazed on a beach in Tahiti. He has not even lazed on the beach he can see from his office window. He lazed for a while on a hallway floor, but that was after he tripped over one of his dog’s toy and knocked himself unconscious.
Why am I referring to myself in the third person? Curious. Hi, It’s me, Dean. Welcome to the web site. Let me tell you about THE HUSBAND.
As a reader, I’m happy to settle down with a story in which the protagonist is a police detective, an FBI agent, a CIA agent, a Secret Service agent, a private detective, or a criminal-defense attorney. They lead lives that put them in dramatic and even dangerous situations, so it’s easy to believe that their stories could really happen. As a writer, however, I quickly grow bored with that kind of set-up because it’s too easy. The narrative is more challenging to me if the lead character(s) are ordinary citizens without weapons training, without the deep resources of governmental agencies, and without experience of the crazed or criminal types who suddenly enter their lives. If they don’t go looking for trouble by virtue of their professions, if instead trouble comes looking for them, and if they don’t have a daily experience of evil to guide them in their responses to it, I am more interested in what will happen to them and how they will cope with extreme peril.
I have occasionally written novels with police officers and detectives as the leads, but most of those were in the first half of my career. These days, when my protagonists are police officers, as Carson and Michael in the Frankenstein books, they tend to be mavericks whose hard experience has taught them to meet the world with an unrelenting sense of humor; consequently, their insistence on seeing the dark comedy in all things makes them unpredictable.
In my most recent novels, my protagonists have been a short-order cook, a baker, a bartender, a house painter, a jobless woman with a troubled past…. I find that I’m comfortable settling into those points of view and that I’m interested in discovering how people with ordinary survival skills, rather like my own, will rise to momentous challenges. In the real world, they do it every day.
Mitch Rafferty, 27, protagonist of THE HUSBAND, is a gardener and landscaper. He has $11,000 in his checking account. Someone kidnaps his wife and demands two million for her return. They know he’s not rich, but they think he’ll find a way to get the money if he loves his wife enough. Are they insane? No. They’re cunning. The resulting story is a runaway-train ride that explores the beauty of total commitment to another person. For the first time in his life, Mitch recognizes the existence of Evil with a capital E; through this recognition he also becomes aware of the mysterious—indeed, magical—nature of life, which had previously escaped him. Great peril can shock us from our settled views and force us to reexamine what we believe about ourselves, about life, and even about the nature of reality.
What would you do for love? Would you die? Would you kill? Mitch discovers that he will do whatever is required of him. I hope his journey enthralls you as much as the writing of it enthralled me. And as always, loyal readers, thank you for giving me purpose and a life.
About Dean Koontz
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2021.12.04 11:16 heytomcharles Update after quitting modelling.

Update after quitting modelling. submitted by heytomcharles to FitToFat [link] [comments]


2021.12.04 11:16 ScarlettCampbell She’s not stuck, she just likes doing this

She’s not stuck, she just likes doing this submitted by ScarlettCampbell to budgies [link] [comments]


2021.12.04 11:16 Green_Childhood_9334 A few from the Class 6A MAIS state championship

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2021.12.04 11:16 serge_benhamou58 Brest : Recommandations

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2021.12.04 11:16 MMAandSoccer [WTB] Vortex Razor 1-6x HD-E Gen 2 (CA)

Offering $1050 shipped for just the scope. The E version. Will pay more if it comes with Scalarworks LEAP or Bager Ordnance or any other lightweight 1.93” height mount.
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2021.12.04 11:16 lIlIIlIIIlIII An app to store my searches.

Sometimes I turn on my phone but I don't know what to search for to benefit from my free time. While other times I think of interesting queries to search for but I'm not in the right time and place to search for it.
Is there an app that can store my searches and when I have free time, I tap the random button on the app and it google one of the stored searches randomly?
Thanks.
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2021.12.04 11:16 vermillicent Animal Collective - What Would I Want? Sky (unofficial video, OC)

Animal Collective - What Would I Want? Sky (unofficial video, OC) submitted by vermillicent to psychedelicartwork [link] [comments]


2021.12.04 11:16 ManOfCheezCakes I miss that unique pistol a lot. I want it back.

I miss that unique pistol a lot. I want it back. submitted by ManOfCheezCakes to TypicalColors2 [link] [comments]


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